i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
