Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
