U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize