Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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