I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
