quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
whose ass print is on the piano?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Randomize
