I think my vagina is haunted
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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