he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
