I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
