Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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