Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize