Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize