I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
