Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
