i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
