You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
