I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
