friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
