She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize