Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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