No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
