glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
they're like a gay fantastic four
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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