I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Randomize
