she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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