Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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