i can't believe i had my finger in that
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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