So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize