Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
