she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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