We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize