He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
