Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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