would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
