This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
