Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We got so high we made milksteak
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize