they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
