yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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