he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize