Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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