If i come over, it means nothing
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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