You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
