we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
