I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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