Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
