his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
