So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
