I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
