Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
