hotel room ftw
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
