Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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