would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
