Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
