i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
