i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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