Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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