he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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