You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I smell like Dick and happiness
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
