youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
